{"id":68,"date":"2025-06-08T02:31:18","date_gmt":"2025-06-08T02:31:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lettersforthejourney.com\/?p=68"},"modified":"2025-06-23T19:41:33","modified_gmt":"2025-06-23T19:41:33","slug":"letter-three-finding-assurances-on-your-journey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lettersforthejourney.com\/?p=68","title":{"rendered":"Letter Three: Finding Assurances on Your Journey"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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Reading time: 8 minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Hi Friend,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m really glad you\u2019re here again. If you\u2019re still reading, it probably means this journey is real for you. And maybe, like me, you\u2019ve had moments of wondering if you\u2019re doing it right<\/em> or if you\u2019re even on the right path at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When everything feels uncertain, it\u2019s natural to look for something\u2014anything\u2014to hold onto. Some kind of reassurance that you\u2019re not completely lost. Maybe you\u2019re asking, Am I making a mistake? Am I being deceived? Will I ever feel at peace again?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those questions used to keep me up at night and absorb my thoughts all day. I really wanted someone to tell me it was all going to be okay. That if I kept going, I wouldn\u2019t lose everything. But no one could do that for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead, I had to learn to find small assurances along the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the most comforting realizations for me was understanding that this process\u2014the questions, the doubts, the unraveling\u2014was not unique to me. It\u2019s not a personal failing or a sign that I\u2019ve gone astray.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, what you\u2019re experiencing is actually well-documented<\/em>. People have studied it, written about it, and many have walked this path long before you or I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But this hasn\u2019t just happened to members of the LDS faith, and it isn\u2019t just recently, which is why psychologists, theologians, and scholars have long mapped out models of faith development that describe what you and I are experiencing. This dates as far back as John\u2019s description of Thomas\u2019 doubts over Jesus\u2019 resurrection. (Thomas gets a bad rap, BTW.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of those who have documented faith transitions, the most well-known is James Fowler\u2019s Stages of Faith<\/em>. His research shows that faith isn\u2019t static\u2014it evolves over time. We grow into it, out of it, and sometimes through it again in different ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At one point, faith feels simple, clear, and certain\u2014built on authority, tradition, and a sense of belonging. But for many of us, that stage gives way to complexity. We start asking harder questions, recognizing contradictions, and seeking truth in new ways. That can feel unsettling, even lonely. But it\u2019s not wrong<\/em>. It\u2019s part of a larger human experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A well-known former pastor and author, Brian McLaren outlined a similar model of faith as a journey that helps describe how people navigate doubt and grow their faith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I like Brian\u2019s model because, while similar to Fowler\u2019s model, it\u2019s simplified to four stages. They are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Simplicity<\/strong> \u2013 People see faith in black-and-white terms, with clear right and wrong, us versus them. Authority figures provide answers, and questioning is discouraged. This stage is often associated with early religious instruction or fundamentalist belief systems. It may also be seen in the younger years of our lives.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
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    1. Complexity<\/strong> \u2013 Faith evolves to embrace problem-solving and pragmatism. People start seeing that life and faith require strategies and techniques. They may still see faith as a system to help them succeed in life but begin to recognize nuance. They start thinking in terms of steps, and achievements in their spiritual lives.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
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      1. Perplexity<\/strong> \u2013 Doubt starts to play a central role as people question previously held beliefs. They see contradictions in religious institutions and may feel disillusioned. Many move away from organized religion at this stage, seeing it as hypocritical or inadequate in addressing their struggles. Others press on, trying to reconcile their beliefs and new information.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
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        1. Harmony<\/strong> \u2013 At this stage, instead of resisting doubt, people start to integrate doubt and mystery into their faith. This stage embraces love as the central principle of faith, allowing for a more open, inclusive, and holistic spirituality. People move beyond rigid dogma and toward a more compassionate, connected faith experience.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Brian McLaren\u2019s model tries to show that faith development is a process that involves movement between stages rather than a linear progression. These stages aren\u2019t better or higher than another; they are stages in how we process and embrace faith in real and deeper ways as we recognize that things are more complex than we previously thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          This takes us back to that idea of the Hero\u2019s Journey for many spiritual journeys begin with a \u201ccall to adventure\u201d that disrupts everything we thought we knew. Often, we resist it. But once we step into the unknown, we meet guides, face trials, and emerge transformed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Elder Jeffrey Holland echoes this sentiment of a journey when he said, \u201cDon\u2019t give up. Don\u2019t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead\u2014a lot of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          My point is that what you\u2019re going through is not<\/em> you being lost. It\u2019s you on a journey. And while it may not feel like it, that\u2019s actually a well-documented process of growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          In fact, we could say that everyone is at some stage of this journey. They just haven\u2019t accepted the call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          This is important because I think, like a toddler, we need assurances that it\u2019s okay to step forward as we learn to walk. I used to think assurances had to come as big, undeniable moments\u2014like an angel appearing or a voice telling me exactly what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          But that\u2019s not how it\u2019s worked for me on this path of faith exploration. Instead, I\u2019ve found that assurance often comes in quiet, unexpected ways that mean that my faith is growing and changing in different ways than I expected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Some of those assurances for me have included:<\/p>\n\n\n\n