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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nHi Friend,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m glad you\u2019re still reading these. I want to talk about two important things you need for this journey you\u2019re on: time and patience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re anything like me, you might feel a sense of urgency that you need to just hurry up and figure everything out. You want clarity now, answers, and a sense of peace now! Sound familiar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The discomfort of uncertainty can make us feel like we\u2019re stranded in the middle of nowhere, longing to get somewhere\u2014anywhere\u2014with solid ground beneath our feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That manifested itself in so many ways for me. I would spend long nights studying new topics. I would pick up and read any book that someone recommended, And I\u2019ve listened to podcasts, literally thousands of hours of podcasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No matter how much I studied and listened, it felt like I just wasn\u2019t moving fast enough. I wasn\u2019t learning enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But then, I learned something along the way: this process takes time. You can\u2019t rush it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faith transitions don\u2019t happen overnight. They unfold over months, years, and even decades. And they don\u2019t follow a straight, predictable path. You might feel moments of certainty, only to find yourself questioning again. You can feel peace one day and anger the next. Some days you just want to run back to what you once knew, and other days, you might feel ready to leave it all behind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s normal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think it\u2019s pretty normal to be frustrated as well. Especially as a Latter-Day Saint.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019ve lived with the idea of a strait and narrow path. We\u2019ve been immersed in this concept of enduring to the end\u2014like we are already on the right path, it\u2019s all resolved, and now we just need to ride it out (which is not exactly what that means, but we\u2019ve treated it that way.). Then, everything gets disrupted, and we just want to get back on that path. And that makes us impatient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The faith models we discussed last time like Fowler\u2019s Stages of Faith<\/em> describe how people move through belief, doubt, and reconstruction. But they emphasize that we move in cycles, not in a straight line. You may revisit the same questions at different times, seeing them with fresh eyes as you continue to grow. There\u2019s no right or wrong stage to be in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This kind of searching has been part of the human experience for centuries. Many of the most faithful people in history wrestled with doubt for years\u2014sometimes even for a lifetime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s hard for our kind of people. We are used to checklists, to-do\u2019s and being rewarded for doing things on time. Most of our goals have been time based: making it to Primary, then Young Men\u2019s\/Women\u2019s, moving on the Relief Society or the Melchizedek priesthood, going on a mission, attending the temple, getting married, children, senior mission, etc. We have all been on timelines. We are the champions at on-time delivery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But there\u2019s no such thing here on the journey. There is no checklist. No 10-point plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have so many examples of this, I am surprised it\u2019s not obvious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the most well-known descriptions of a long, difficult faith journey is The Dark Night of the Soul<\/em> by St. John of the Cross. He describes a time of spiritual emptiness, where the presence of God feels distant or absent. It\u2019s painful, disorienting, and lonely\u2014but it\u2019s also a crucial part of deep spiritual growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mother Teresa, one of the most revered religious figures of our time, experienced this herself. Her private writings, later published in Come Be My Light<\/em>, reveal that she felt spiritually lost for nearly 50 years! She described an aching absence where she once felt God’s closeness. And yet, she remained faithful, continuing her work even when she felt no reassurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If someone as devoted as Mother Teresa could struggle for decades, you can be gentle with yourself as you figure things out. It\u2019s clear that God is not in a hurry to just pull us out of our faith journey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about how long it took to build your beliefs in the first place. Years, maybe decades. They shaped how you saw the world, how you made decisions, how you found meaning. Changing or reshaping those beliefs is not something that happens quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No one is waiting for you to “hurry up and get there.” Certainly not God, who let the Israelites wander for forty years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can only speculate why God doesn\u2019t feel the need to pull us through this in a hurry. For me, as an imperfect parent, I don\u2019t like to see my children go through difficult times. It pains me. But I also don\u2019t want to shield my children from difficult experiences. As much as I want to help them, I know that if I did, they would miss out on some real growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I think that\u2019s why God is patient. He has time, because time is what we need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know that\u2019s not reassuring when you are going through your own dark night of the soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those emotions are hard, but they are also telling you something. Each, whether it\u2019s grief, pain, relief, sadness, or excitement, is telling you what you need to hear. So, if you have time, stop and listen to what they are saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The poet Rainer Maria Rilke offers us this encouragement,<\/p>\n\n\n\n “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves\u2026 Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Can you feel the lack of urgency in that quote? Live the questions now\u2026just let them sit with you. And gradually you\u2019ll live along some distant day into the answer. That\u2019s patience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In contrast, when I hear the phrase \u201cendure to the end,\u201d I feel like it\u2019s a call to just hold on, grit my teeth, and push through. To be honest, it has always sounded painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But now, I think about enduring differently\u2014not as this long, tedious trek until I die. Instead, I think about enduring as not rushing toward a conclusion, but as making space for the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Enduring isn\u2019t about racing toward certainty. It\u2019s about giving yourself permission to take the time you need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s no perfect timeline for faith, no final exam to pass, no finish line you need to cross by a certain date. You\u2019re not behind. You\u2019re exactly where you need to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Give yourself permission to be patient. Give yourself permission to set some things aside. You won\u2019t solve your concerns all at once. And give yourself permission to keep asking questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe asking questions is what Christ meant by becoming a little child. In the words Rachel Held Evans, \u201cThose who say that having childlike faith means not asking questions haven’t met too many children.\u201d[1]<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope you\u2019ll be patient with yourself. Keep going at your own pace. The road ahead isn\u2019t about speed\u2014it\u2019s about learning to walk it well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m here with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With warmth,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your Friend<\/p>\n\n\n\n P.S. If you want to think further about this topic, here are a few options for you to read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n